How to Write a Sympathy Note

Grab a cup of coffee or another favorite beverage and learn the steps for writing a condolence note.

Writing a Sympathy Note

Sympathy messages can be difficult to write. It's common to be unsure about which direction to go. Most people resort to the old standby phrases such as  “My condolences” or “I am sorry for your loss.” When you use one of these, you may give up the opportunity to say something more substantial. There are many alternatives to these overused phrases.

With a little guidance, writing a condolence message can be easier. Piece together these simple steps to write something great.

Grab a cup of coffee or another favorite beverage and learn the steps for writing a condolence note.

How to Write a Sympathy Note

1. Acknowledge what has happened. Keep this part brief and simple. For example, you may say these things:

• “I was shocked to hear that Jim passed."
• “I am sorry to hear that you lost your job so unexpectedly.”
•  “I know your dog was having some health problems.”

2. Compliment the deceased.

• “John was a very nice man, and I always enjoyed being around him.”
• “Your mother was a great listener, and she had a great sense of humor.”
• “Your dog was super cute, especially when he begged for treats when I came over.”

3. Offer support. Whatever it is you decide to offer the person, make sure it is something specific and something you can definitely follow through to do. Avoid vague statements such as "I am here for you." Here are some better examples:

• “I will be calling you in the next week to check in on you and see how you are doing.”
• “I am going to work try to help you find a new job.”
• “I will bring by some soup for you and the family tomorrow, so you don’t need to worry about cooking.”

4. Inspire Hope. Hope is important in the face of uncertainty. With a recent loss, there's always some uncertainty.

• "You have been an inspiration to me in the past, and I want to let you know that I appreciate my relationship with you."
• "Even though we don't know what the next few weeks hold, I know you'll have some support from people who care about you including me."
• "I hope to carry on inspired by beautiful life we lost, and may our memories drive us to live the rest of our lives to the fullest."

5. Close your message. This could be a quick summary or a short phrase that brings closure to the note. These are a few ideas.

• “With my deepest sympathy”
• “You'll be in my thoughts,”
• “From your friend who's praying for you,”
• More examples of how to close a sympathy note.

6. Proofread. This step is technically performed after writing, but is extremely important. After you are finished, read over your note and imagine receiving it yourself. Think about how it may be interpreted. Realize that the rapport you have will help the person interpret your message of support. Though it is tough to write, words can encourage a person when needed most. 

Types of Sympathy Messages

Father Loss / Mother Loss / Grandparent Loss / Job Loss / Pet Loss / Miscarriage Loss / Religious Sympathy Messages / Sympathy Messages for Flowers / Sympathy Messages