How to Write a Sympathy Note

Writing a Sympathy Note

Sympathy messages are definitely one of the most difficult of all to write. It's common to be unsure about how a grieving person may react. You are likely your biggest critic when it comes to judging what you write.

Most people resort to the old standby phrases such as  “My condolences” or “I am sorry for your loss.” When you do that, you may give up the opportunity to say something that could really help. .

With a little help and guidance, you can write a great sympathy message. Piece together these simple steps to write something great.

How to Write a Sympathy Message

1. Acknowledge what has happened. Keep this part brief and simple. For example, you may say these things:
  • “I was shocked to hear that Jim passed."
  • “I am sorry to hear that you lost your job so unexpectedly.”
  •  “I know your dog was having some health problems.”
2. Say something positive about the person who has died. For example you might add:
  • “John was a very nice man, and I always enjoyed being around him.”
  • “Your mother was a great listener, and she had a great sense of humor.”
  • “Your dog was super cute, especially when he begged for treats when I came over.”
3. Offer your support. Whatever it is you decide to offer the person, make sure it is something specific and something you can definitely follow through to do. Avoid vague statements such as "I am here for you." Here are some better examples:
  • “I will be calling you in the next week to check in on you and see how you are doing.”
  • “I am going to work try to help you find a new job.”
  • “I will bring by some soup for you and the family tomorrow, so you don’t need to worry about cooking.”
4. Say something inspirational to close your message. This is almost a quick summary, and it’s what people typically would write in a sympathy message when they don’t have much to say. These make a great final thought to close:
  • “I’ll be praying for you and your family.”
  • “I will be thinking about you and your family during this time.”
  • “Please accept my condolences to your family. I am praying for peace and blessings to you.”
After you are finished, read over your note and imagine receiving it yourself. Think about how it may be interpreted. Realize that the rapport you have will help them interpret your act of good will toward them. Though it is tough to write, something written is better than nothing written. Check out these examples of sympathy messages for more inspiration.  If you want some suggestions for your message head over to our suggestions page.