Your birthday should be a national holiday. I'll be the first to volunteer to take a day off work in your honor.
Stop having so many birthdays! Seriously, each year it gets more difficult to find you a gift.
When I think of the word youth, I think of you. That’s because the word “you” is contained in the word “youth.” I hope you are feeling youthful on your birthday.
No one holds a candle to you on your birthday. That’s because you're probably already hot from all the candles on your cake.
I've decided to switch my vote from the (Republican/Democratic) party to your birthday party.
Who ever decided to celebrate birthdays must have been young.
"Old is in the eye of the beholder." That's why it's getting difficult to read.
Shouldn't you get your mom something on your birthday? It's your birthday, but it's her Mother's day!
Don't let anyone tell you that you are old, especially if you can hear them say it without having to read lips.
If it's your birthday, then you better dress for the occasion. Wear your birthday suit. Just kidding, your suit is probably too wrinkled.
Isn't it funny how you end your life like the way you came out? You're wrinkled, cold, and weak. Here's to many more birthdays!
Just think. Pretty soon you'll be able to use the bathroom in your diaper again. That was the good life. Happy Birthday! You're one year closer.
Adding a candle on your cake today means your doctor will probably be adding another pill to your daily regimen of medicine.
Having a personal crisis or wondering about your life purpose is normal on your birthday. So you get to be normal for one day out of the year.
There’s a correlation between aging and being dishonest about your age. So, on a scale of 1-100, how many years dishonest are you?
In some cultures, age is a sign of distinction that demands respect. Tell me. How many years of respect do I owe you?
I understand if you don’t want to tell me your true age. However, I have a math problem for you to help me with. If I’m __ years old now, how old will you be when I turn 100 years old?
If you’re wondering what to wear for your birthday, don’t forget that you can wear your birthday suit. Don't forget to iron it though. It gets more wrinkled each year.
Since your mother worked extremely hard on your birthday to birth you, shouldn’t she be the one getting the presents, cake, and party?
According to the government, your birthday is a very important day. It’s the day you become a citizen.
Did you know that there are some really cool, smart, and important people born on your birthday? Unfortunately, it turns out that you are not one of those people.
Just think, if we hatched out of eggs like birds instead of being born, we’d have to tell people “Happy Hatch Day!” instead of Happy Birthday.
I usually try to give people a birthday card that matches their age. Unfortunately, they were all out of the stone tablet and ancient papyrus greeting cards. I guess this more modern version will have to do.
I don’t understand why people get so bent out of shape over birthdays. If you think about it, it’s the other 364 days of the year that make people so old.
Hey if you think about it, 'over the hill' is not such a bad thing. After all, going downhill is a lot easier and more fun. Think of life as a roller coaster. Happy birthday.
There’s one main thing that makes people stop enjoying their own birthdays. That’s the day they realize that they will die some day. For that reason, I’m not going to bring up the fact that you aren’t getting any younger this year. I’ll just wish you a happy birthday.
Do you know what famous person was born on this very special day… I don’t know either. I only know of you.
You know what? If you could be president today, I think I might switch my political affiliation to the birthday party.
Best wishes on your 21st time having a 29th birthday. Keep enjoying your twenties.
If you have a birthday in the middle of the woods and no one is there to celebrate with you, then did you actually get older? Happy birthday, and have fun on your camping trip to the middle of nowhere.
Who says you actually have to keep having birthdays? We all stop having them sometime. There’s a ton of people in the cemeteries that stopped celebrating birthdays a long time ago.
For your birthday I wanted to get you a special birthday trip to the only place I know you would really want to go. Unfortunately, they sold out of tickets for the time machine. I guess you’ll have to enjoy your presents in the present.
Don’t be tempted to reflect on your entire life each birthday. At your age, that would take a long time.
Getting older and growing up are two very different things. One is still an option.
The grim reaper has marked another hatch mark next to your name. Have a great birthday!
The most frustrating thing about becoming an old cynical person is that it is difficult to blame someone for it happening.
Some people try to hide their age by calling themselves mature or seniors, but I like being honest with old people.
I wish I had remembered to get you a present. My memory must be going in your old age.
I wish you were older today... Oh, my wish came true!
Wishing you enough air to blow out all of your candles.
I am wishing it was my birthday on your birthday. But since it's your birthday, I'll keep the presents and you keep the age.
I am wishing for you to wish for more wishes when you blow out your candles.
Have the best birthday anyone could expect to have at your age.
Wishing you a birthday as fun as your original birthday, minus the terrifying, slimy birth experience.
Enjoy your senior citizen discounts. You deserve them.
I wish today was not your birthday... because I forgot to get you a present. I'll blow out your candles so my wish will come true.
Keep getting older, because aging a little each year beats the alternative.
There's nothing funny about having a birthday and getting old when you ARE old. That's why I am going to keep your birthday wishes totally serious.