Writing Sympathy Messages

Sympathy messages are definitely one of the most difficult of all greeting card messages you can write.  You are unsure about how the grieving person may react. Keep in mind, that you are likely your biggest critic when it comes to judging your sympathy card message.

Most people resort to the old standby phrases such as  “My condolences” or “I am sorry for your loss.” However, when they do that, they are giving up the opportunity to say something meaningful that could influence the well being of the grieving.

With a little help and a little guidance, anyone can write a great sympathy card message.  Follow the following steps to create your own great sympathy message.

Directions for How to Write a Sympathy Message


1.Acknowledge what has happened.  Keep this part brief and simple.  For example, you may say things like:
  • “I was shocked to hear that your husband has passed.
  • “I can’t believe that you lost your job so unexpectedly.”
  •  “I know your dog was having some health problems.”

2.Say something positive about the person who has died or another loss that has occurred.  For example you might add:
  • “John was a very nice man, and I always enjoyed being around him.”
  • “Your mother was a great listener and had a great dry sense of humor.”
  • “Your dog was super cute, especially when he begged for treats when I came over.”

3.Offer your support. Whatever it is you decide to offer the person, make sure it is something specific and something you can definitely follow through doing.  Avoid vague statements such as "I am here for you." So here are some better examples:
  • “I will be calling you in the next week to check in on you and see how you are doing.”
  • “I am going to work on trying to help you find a new job.”
  • “I will bring by some soup for you and the family tomorrow, so you don’t need to worry about cooking.”

4.Say something inspirational to close your message.  This is almost a quick summary, and it’s what people typically would write in a sympathy message when they don’t have much to say.  These make a great final thought to close:
  • “I’ll be praying for you and your family.”
  • “I will be thinking about you and your family during this time.”
  • “My condolences on your loss and peace and blessings to you.”

Finally, you will want to read over your message and imagine receiving it yourself.  Think about how it may be interpreted, but at the same time you can realize that the rapport that you have with the person will help them interpret your act of good will toward them.  Remember, it is tough to write, but something written is better than nothing.  Check out these examples of sympathy messages for more inspiration.  If you want some suggestions for your message head over to our suggestions page.

More Sympathy Messages

Condolence Messages
Religious Sympathy Messages
Pet Sympathy Messages

Other Site Sympathy Messages

Sympathy Card messages
Sympathy Message Examples
What not to write in a Sympathy Message