Funny Fortune Cookie Sayings

These are just a few examples of some funny fortune cookie sayings. If  you found a message in your fortune cookie with one of these, it would probably be pretty funny. You would enjoy reading the fortune even more if there were a few of these mixed in with the serious fortune cookie sayings.  Make sure you add your  own ideas for funny fortunes below.

1. You think you just ate “sweet n’ sour chicken,” but it was actually “sweet n’ sour something else.”
2. You have been eating unhealthy food from Chinese restaurant. You will benefit from a change in diet.
3. Let’s just say that the cookie is going to be the better part of the fortune.  You probably don’t want to read the truth.
4. You may write in your own fortune on the line  __________________________________________.
5. Your life feels full and satisfying… Or at least your stomach does.
6. You will ignore the Chinese characters that are included with this message and you couldn’t care less about the culture.  ########## See I told you that you’d only see pound signs.
7. The Chinese food you just finished was the most American made thing you have bought since 1995.
8. You feel bloated from eating too much Chinese food, but you will be healed from your discomfort in a few hours.
9. You will find a little slip of paper inside a cookie from the Chinese restaurant.   You have read it because you were curious.
10. You are feeling generous and will leave a substantial tip for the server at the Chinese restaurant.
11. You seek to find meaning from a little slip of paper inside a little cookie.  You are gullible.
12. You’re going to die.  Everyone has to eventually.
13. Stop playing the lottery.  There is no such thing as luck.  You lucky numbers are: 13, 1, 9, 16, and 7.
14. Water is your friend.  It will help you wash down your fortune cookie.
15. Your fortune cookie will taste suspiciously like an ice cream cone without the ice cream.
16. If you have read this fortune then you have brought upon yourself bad luck.
17. There’s nothing that could be included in this fortune cookie message that you would believe. You will believe this fortune.
18. You will live a long and healthy life.  The world will end in 2012 and all of life on earth will die.